I felt impressed to write this blog on Monday. Today is Wednesday, and it has taken me this long to understand what it is I want to share here on this blog.
In the introduction I said I had a hard life, but I don't think I gave you much of an understanding of it. I am aware that there are others who have endured so much more than I have, but pain is pain, there is no belittling, really. I believe we get to endure suffering so that we can understand the greatness of our need for God in our lives.
I was 19, had just ran away from an abusive relationship with 2 babies from different fathers. I didn't plan it that way, but people say you will find people to pair up with who are like your parents and that was true for me. I was staying with my foster parents when the sister missionaries began teaching me about the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. I had refused to hear anything about it for 3 years previous, but I couldn't help but want to know more when all I felt was love from my foster mother. She had such a love for it and it was the only church that believed that families are forever and that we came from Heavenly Father as his own spirit children. These thoughts really resonated in my heart when I heard them.
This one day when I had asked the sister missionary why she had come on her mission she told me this story.
I believe we all came from our Heavenly Father to this earth so that we could be tested and tried and come to rely upon our Savior Jesus Christ to help us make our weaknesses strong and then one day return home to our Heavenly Father to live with Him forever in happiness. While on this earth some of us would be born to parents who had the Gospel and could be raised in a happy and loving home, but some of us would be born to parents who did not believe in the Gospel or even God and we would have really hard childhoods.
I believe, she went on to say, that we promised each other that if one of us did not have the Gospel that we would seek to find each other and would make sure we shared it with each other, for it is something more precious than gold.
I felt this story was true in my heart and I feel it is true to this day. I have felt all day that I have someone out there in the world that I promised I would share this precious Gospel with and since I am mostly at home raising my little ones, not a wanderer or a traveler as my older children are, I feel this is the way I can meet you and help ease your burdens with what I have learned about Heaven Father, Jesus Christ and this precious Gospel and help you feel less burdened.
There is a man that lived 600 years before Jesus Christ was born who I feel cried for me when he prayed to see my day. These are the words that are written in the scared record, " For I pray continually for them by day, and mine eyes water my pillow by night, because of them; and I cry unto my God in faith, and I know that he will hear my cry."
I use to feel so alone that I would just cry and sink into depression. I feel like some of you may know what this feels like.
I can honestly say that like Nephi, I cry and pray for you and I know that our God will carry my words of comfort unto you.
Some people will try to say that God loves some of his children more than he loves others. I believe that is not true. Nephi also said that Jesus Christ loveth the world. I never really heard that before. As proof of that love he says that he does nothing unless it is for the benefit of the world, even that he laid down his own life. Nephi ends the chapter with saying these words that I just love,
"he doeth that which is good among the children of men; and he doeth nothing save it be plain unto the children of men; and he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness;
I have seen what that goodness looks like.
I promise to share more with you later, because I must now go lay down little ones to sleep.
Sweet dreams!
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